Why the Woods Beckoned Me After Dark

Visual and Literary Nudity Advisory: If you are uncomfortable with male nudity or gay themes, please exit this blog at once. Thank you.

Moonlit night. Too dark to videotape myself in the dark woods. The moon illuminated my partially nude body. My gold shirt was off and lying on the dark ground. No photographs could be taken of myself in the woods. Only the moon was bright enough to photograph. The road where cars might pass was visible dimly from where I stood in the woods so I took off the rest of my clothes:  my dungarees and my briefs. I stayed in the half shadows until I had to start doing what I now realized this foiled videotape session had led me to do. I stepped into the full moonlight and held my manhood in my cold fingers. It was not a warm night. I could feel my nipples cold as I touched them. The chill in the air added to the unique moment I was experiencing. The woods beckoned me and I had to be there.

These were the same woods that 10 years earlier had witnessed a passioned interlude with another nude man I had met in another park down the road. At the time it was a sunny afternoon and mid-summer. The semen flowed effortlessly and the other guy wiped my throbbing man root with his flannel shirt and hungrily tasted my redder-than-crimson fruit.

Tonight was different. He was not present. It was only me in the woods after dark. The stars were visible as little light dimmed their natural glow. The chilly evening made it difficult to reach climax, but in no time at all the climax produced its pearly white surprise and I dared not let it fall onto the tell-tale ground. Not knowing what else to do I swallowed it and licked up the residue that lingered on my fingers and my open palm. My moustache was probably lightly coated with the milky sheen, but that would have to wait. As I lingered on this experience and, yes, enjoyed it, I knew that during those 20 minutes I was more synchronized with some of the gnostic Christians of the the first century A.D. and their exotic sexual rituals, than with the traditional Christianity I have known all my lie.. No doubt some of them, though male and female together, went  into the woods and offered the result of passion and excitation to the deity of the shining moon.

After I dressed I cautiously searched for the nature path  that had led me to that secluded place in the woods and headed for the parking lot area. a quarter of a mile away.

Gay-friendly Starbucks - Wilton Manors, FL

Every Starbucks reflects its immediate community and reinforces it. At least in this venue the staff reflects in part its neighborhood. The few barristas that are heterosexual are, shrewdly, gay-tolerant.

For those who don't drink this very successful outlet is the ideal choice for makng friends. After hours of coffee, tea and pleasant conversation, one can walk to the curb with very little effort. Equal time spent in a nearby bar pales in comparison.

Not everybody in the gay hood is gay, lesbian or transgender. Those who are 'other' feel at ease when same sex parties kiss or they simply fail to return.

Age, disabilities, accent or political affinities are all welcome and feel at Home here. This is my second home for I come here after work for an hour before heading home.

If I am fortunate it's likely that I'll meet my next significant other at the granite counter or in the sometimes smoky patio by swaying palm trees.

Gay tourists must stop here when in town and in need of recreation and relaxation.

Gays in Heaven

Wondering: So you are the one that sets the limits?
Where is God in all of this?

Wondering, thank you for taking the time and for caring enough to quote me in full, as well, as asking your valid question.

First of all, I hesitated with sharing what many will see as an unflattering version of gay life within an ultra-progressive adventist context, my own. Nevertheless, it is a slice of my gay life, past and present.

Whether you chose to believe it or not, I can only assure you that it is the truth.
God came to my rescue with these amazing texts: The Lord is my light and my salvation. The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom then shall I be afraid. The Lord is my shepherd. He restores my soul.

During the last months of a broken relationship, as the 14 years were coming to an end, it was only these words, learned during childhood, that game me strength, hope and sanity to endure the ultimate insult. As I fell asleep chanting these words until sleep finally eased my pain, the man I had loved and cared for through sickness and unemployment, had abondoned me and without concern as to my feelings left me to my "guest room" in our own house while he slept with his new younger, wealthier lover in what formerly was our master bedroom.
Most people in that situation would either go mad or go beserk. I did not have the economic luxury to do either.

In spite of the realization that according to my Adventist family I was "living in sin" and in spite of having fallen from a dynamic faith relationship with Christ into nominal Christianity, I believed enough in Christ to seek him as I lived out the remaining months of a living hell.
So for whatever it's worth, even homosexuals still have an open door to God's grace at all times. "...whoever belives in him should not perish..."

And let's not talk of cheap grace. Grace is never cheap. Grace is simply free. The more sinful we find ourselves to be, the freer it seems. The more righteous or moral we think we are, the less need we seem to have for God's "forgiving love, loving kindness, and unmerited favor."
Only the greatest of sinners can ever truly appreciate the incredible gift of being saved by nothing more than a relationship with Christ, not on how near-perfect and morally upright we imagine ourselves to be. "Those who have been forgiven much have greater love for Christ."
Those who consider their sins paltry love less because they believe they have been forgiven for less, and because theirs are so-called lesser evils and more "normal" human failings. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely ..."

Thank you all for taking time--those of you who are not squeemish--to read my personal story. I hope it has been of benefit to some of you.

Posted by: Bunbury Vidal

The above post was taken from a larger dialogue by progressive Christians regarding the film For the Bible Tells Me So.

Gay Porn Addiction

Nudity Advisory: If you are uncomfortable with male nudity or gay themes, please exit this blog at once. Thank you.

It's hard to admit that one is addicted to anything especially to something as peculiar as pornography. I guess there's a bit of a voyeur in a lot of us. There is in me. For over a year I had not cared at all about wasting time jacking off in front of my PC with the hottest pics of men in complete undress. For whatever reason I now spend time looking for nude photos of men in order to jack off with the images in front of me. I no longer get too aroused by pictures of nude men alone. They have to be having sex with each other in order for the picture to be worth saving in my Red folder.

After I've jacked off I sometimes think that it would save time next time to not delete the nude contents of my Red folder. But then I find that the guilt associated with keeping my Red folder full of gay porn makes me uncomfortable when I pray or read the bible. Yes, I am a man who is both gay but Christian.

I rarely go searching for real live sex with other men. If it finds me accidentally, like in the men's room at a fast food restaurant where I had gone to wash my hands before I ate, then it is what it is and I enjoy the oddness of interacting with a real live person instead of images on my PC monitor. At other times, I've been walking at sunset in my community and a shirtless gay man will say hello and ask if I want to have sex. I accept his invitation--which doesn't happen very often, maybe three times a year--and I have sex with him since the next incidental opportunity to have sex with another guy won't be around the corner with any regularity.

I read my bible and pray daily that God will help me to lose interest in gay porn especially since it takes so much of my time. Images of gay porn intrude on my life at random moments, as well as in dreams and sometimes I dislike the fact that I have become obsessed with gay porn. The only good thing I can say about jacking off to gay porn is that my orgasm's are more intense since I stimulate myself for a longer period of time.