Gay Porn and Straight Men

Lately I've been addicted to porn again. It's such a waste of time, really. Exercising, reading, meeting friends, listening to music and spending time in nature are what I really want to to with leisure time. So why bother sitting in front of my PC and jacking off yet again? Maybe I'm spending too much time at home or by myself, generally. Yet even when I'm busy I still make time to j.o. once a day.

I've got to rewire my brain and focus on something more worthwhile than videos of other men having sex.

See the following link for more possible solutions to the problem of gay porn addiction::
Straight Men and Gay Porn

Sex Club Vacation and Surprising Encounter

Nudity Advisory: If you are uncomfortable with male nudity or gay themes, please exit this blog at once. Thank you.

He found himself at the entrance to a club that looked like it oozed with sex. It did. It oozed with more than sex or semen. There was a sinister quality to the club inside that was not apparent when he first walked in.

It was a narrow club. The bar was almost invisible, but the men were there, like guides to inner doors that revealed darker and darker secrets. It had been what seemed like years, though only days or weeks had passed since he had made hard, cold contact with a naked form in a club, so the inner recesses of the club drew him deeper and deeper until he thought he found what he was looking for. When he entered the first room and stripped completely nude, to his horror all the other nude men in the room were flagelating themselves with leather whips in a brightly lit room that made the scene even more garrish. It reminded him of the monks in Spain that walked the streets in white hoods and simultaneously flagelated themselves as the blood oozed from their atoning backs. Hoping that this was just some sort of bad cabaret from spoiled clubbing denizens, he got nearer to the opening of the darkening door that led into the back room. To his horror, with what little light fell into the door to the backroom, among the crouching men and twisting bodies were other men whipping themselves and whipping others as well. Nothing like this could ever attract him. In fact the darkness of the entire series of rooms and situations filled him with the darkest of horrors.

He slipped into his shorts in time to be met by Lindo Archer, whom he hadn't seen in years, and the pot belly that greated him told a sorry tale of beer and too many late nights in the dark. Both Lindo and his potbellied form greeted him by quickly taking off his shorts and not asking, but demanding, that he let him quench his thirst. He liked the guy, so he just stood there and let Lindo help himself. After all he was a one-time friend or acquaintance, and this was better than anything the dark rooms and the whipping men had to offer.

He waved goodbye to Lindo, pulled on his shorts again and walked over to the outdoor pool where he was the only one to jump in with nothing but his cotton briefs on. The huge pressure of the water pushed the flimsy fabric off his body and he walked out of the water totally nude. No one seemed to notice. It was that kind of town or state of mind. When the owners of the club, waved at him to come back next week and do it all again, he waved with a doubtful smile and looked at his soiled lace bikini briefs that had an odd burnt-ochre stain on the fabric and on his fingers. He wished he were closer to water to rinse away the odd-smelling paste, but the taxi was not going to wait another minute, so he jumped into the cab as is and let the driver complain about smelling nothing pleasant for the second time that year.

Exhibitionism and Its Allure for Gay Men

The annual Stonewall Gay pride parade and street carnival took place in Wilton Manor, Florida, this past Sunday, June 19, 2011. At the event there were photos like the one on the right of the Latino group in its colorful peacock glory. Photos of this sort could, of course, be shown on the evening news, and, in fact, were displayed especially this Latino group's colorful butterflies. These human butterflies were the highlight of the parade as far as the visual was concerned.

However, there were other types of exhibitionism both in the parade and in the street carnival that would never make it onto the evening news, unless they were first digitally blurred to cover the hint of pubic hair that was purposely exhibited at the top of the low slung shorts or underwear.
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Restrained Foreplay with A Boyish Man

Nudity Advisory: If you are uncomfortable with male nudity or gay themes, please exit this blog at once. Thank you.

He was nicely dressed and groomed and he was handsome in a way that I found appealing. One smile in his direction as he walked inside the coffee shop was enough to make him want to sit net to me. Within minutes we were getting to know each other.

We were both Latino; I thought he was Anglo or Italian. You can't tell ethnicity sometimes. You have to wait till the guy tells you. He was very proper in his approach and very traditionally Latino. He later said the same about me; that's the reason I appealed to him so much.

To my surprise after 1/2 hour of light conversation he accepted an invitation to coffee and dessert at my place. He quickly said he's like that. I thought he really wanted dessert. He didn't come across as rabidly sexual and that was part of the charm. I thought for a moment or two that he liked being invited over for coffee and dessert whenever possible.

On my yellow sofa we slowly got closer and closer until he felt the urge to hug me, so I let him. I told him if he continued to full-body hug me so tightly I would get too excited to restrain myself. But he opted for more conversation and intimate moments over coffee and scones.

Then the little series of games began. It's a good thing that I'm flexible and willing to learn new approaches to man-to-man experiences so I played along. He made rules about no shirts coming off. Then he broke them and we were both shirtless 1/2 hour later. Me made rules about no pants off. Those came off as well. His last rule, or so I thought, was that we would not go to bed that night. It was he that suggested 15 minutes  later that we go to my bedroom to relax. He called it relaxing and I couldn't figure out till later.

We played show and and tell games and hide the baloney games and finally I said I'd have to pee as I left the bed with my briefs still on and a raging hard on to go with it. He said he'd like to see me in the nude. I complied. We played more of his little games and I was more patient than usual.

We finally did reach orgasm; well he did by getting him hot and bothered when I licked his nipples as he groaned with pleasure. He told me to stop even though it was causing him such pleasure. If I didn't stop, he said, he would ejaculate all over my bed or down his hairy thighs. I couldn't figure out why he'd want me to stop so I gently kept licking his left nipple and he finally shot hot streams of jism into his half-cupped hands as he tried to catch the dripping semen.

He then told me that was the first time he'd ever had sex with a man. He wasn't sure if he should have done so as he was struggling with his sexuality and his Christian upbringing, but he sure wanted to see me again. Had he told me from the start both of these details I would have said that I was not the kind of guy that initiates struggling Christians into man-to-man intimacies since I know first-hand how complicated that struggle can at times be. But he was grateful for the experience. I was relieved that he had taken the first time so well. He said that it couldn't have been with a nicer and more patient guy. I smiled, kissed him in the nude as he waved goodbye and walked through the front door ready for his drive home to his mom and dad, his wife or his empty apartment.

Gay Christian Male and Temptation

Something is not quite typical about the mostly nude or sex-oriented posts that appear from time to time on this blog. With all respect to gay or bisexual men who are not Christian or religious, this blog would be more in sync with a secular or humanist individual because of its obsession and, at times, naturalness regarding nudity and sex. It stretches belief to realize that I am obsessed with reading the Bible and praying daily two or three times a day, as well. My most tender moments are of God and spiritual themes.

There have been times when I've not given myself pleasure for weeks, if you can believe it. It surprised me that I could be so disciplined. I'm not sure what brought that about. It wasn't lack of ability, but rather, something unseen or unexplainable. I can't be sure it was all of a spiritual nature. It simply was that I chose not to masturbate.

In addition, for two or three weeks now I purposely stay away from instant gay dating sites which hook you up with a variety of men. I've even met guys younger than myself by 10 or 15 years. That surprised me though I never told them my age. But ultimately, sites like that lead to more complications than is worth the bother.

So what happens now? I think it's healthy, in part, not to be ashamed of my nude body even though it still needs work, but both my physique and myself are works in progress. I am still evolving and becoming better and better even as I experience each passing year. It's better to be alive, though not as young as I used to be, than not to be alive at all. For that I am grateful.

At the local Starbucks I am starting to get positive comments from guys that are younger and more buff than I am, as well as previous acquaintances that approve of my gradual evolution into a different, improved model.

Nevertheless, I am still searching for a solution to the dichotomy of my life which features episodes of darkness and light and sometimes the half-light that is closer to the human condition and experience.

Whether you are struggling with any of the episodes I document in this blog or other challenges, never give up. Remember:

Darkness lightness. The night lasts only a few hours. Light, perhaps redefined, will come again into my life and into yours, as well.